Thursday, April 19, 2007
Who's Knocking At Your Door?
Have you ever felt a connection to someone and then it just kind of faded away? Being in the working world (part-time now) I have had a lot of people come and go from the places I’ve worked. Some of them I seem to hit it off with and some I don’t.
Once there was a girl (and I call her a girl simply because she is about 5 yrs younger than me) that came into the Information Systems department at my current job. Even though she only worked here about 2 months we just seemed to hit it off right away. She was always an upbeat person and would even sing or whistle while she worked. Yeah – it wasn’t too distracting. She was a great singer. The only time it was a problem was when she had her headphones on and was singing something entirely different than the elevator music that was being played over the speakers. That could be a bit annoying when you are trying to concentrate. LOL!
The reason she only worked with me for 2 months was because she was way overqualified for the job she was doing. She had some great experience with web design and most of her work was going to be maintaining what an outside company created. She was under the impression that she was going to be the one doing all the work. She definitely had the capabilities but the job position did not fit her and she was bored.
We always joked around a lot and made each other laugh. Once she changed jobs we still communicated through emails. She sometimes sang with a blues band on the weekends and Todd and I even went to hear her one time. I also would meet her for dinner and had her up to the lake to spend a day with us. We had a great time.
Well, I ended up taking over her responsibilities at work and she offered to help me with anything I had questions on. I really didn’t bother her too much with this but after awhile I found myself sending her emails and never getting a response. One day I emailed her and asked her if there was something wrong or if I had offended her in some way. I got an email back saying that she really thought I was a great friend and that she in no way meant to take so long to respond. She said she had just been so busy.
At first I just took it as that. At one point I offered to take her out to dinner to thank her for helping me with some technical issues at work. I never did get her to go out. She was always busy. She was a single person who had a great job and also did a lot of consulting work on the side designing websites. She also had her music interests to keep her busy.
I truly to this day don’t understand what happened with our friendship. After a couple of years I finally let it go. I was the only one making an effort to communicate. She was always nice and sincere when I talked to her but I was getting so frustrated with her. I decided to wait for her to contact me. I’m still waiting…
I still care very much for my friend and yes I still consider her my friend. I know that in life people come and go and that is part of life. It’s all about how much you invest in the relationship. And – a relationship cannot be one sided.
I know my friend did not mean to hurt my feelings. I wonder, however, if I got a taste of what Jesus feels when we reject him? He is constantly nudging us to be in a relationship with him. He will never give up on the relationship he wants with us. Unlike me – he won’t walk away from it. He will still be knocking.
Once there was a girl (and I call her a girl simply because she is about 5 yrs younger than me) that came into the Information Systems department at my current job. Even though she only worked here about 2 months we just seemed to hit it off right away. She was always an upbeat person and would even sing or whistle while she worked. Yeah – it wasn’t too distracting. She was a great singer. The only time it was a problem was when she had her headphones on and was singing something entirely different than the elevator music that was being played over the speakers. That could be a bit annoying when you are trying to concentrate. LOL!
The reason she only worked with me for 2 months was because she was way overqualified for the job she was doing. She had some great experience with web design and most of her work was going to be maintaining what an outside company created. She was under the impression that she was going to be the one doing all the work. She definitely had the capabilities but the job position did not fit her and she was bored.
We always joked around a lot and made each other laugh. Once she changed jobs we still communicated through emails. She sometimes sang with a blues band on the weekends and Todd and I even went to hear her one time. I also would meet her for dinner and had her up to the lake to spend a day with us. We had a great time.
Well, I ended up taking over her responsibilities at work and she offered to help me with anything I had questions on. I really didn’t bother her too much with this but after awhile I found myself sending her emails and never getting a response. One day I emailed her and asked her if there was something wrong or if I had offended her in some way. I got an email back saying that she really thought I was a great friend and that she in no way meant to take so long to respond. She said she had just been so busy.
At first I just took it as that. At one point I offered to take her out to dinner to thank her for helping me with some technical issues at work. I never did get her to go out. She was always busy. She was a single person who had a great job and also did a lot of consulting work on the side designing websites. She also had her music interests to keep her busy.
I truly to this day don’t understand what happened with our friendship. After a couple of years I finally let it go. I was the only one making an effort to communicate. She was always nice and sincere when I talked to her but I was getting so frustrated with her. I decided to wait for her to contact me. I’m still waiting…
I still care very much for my friend and yes I still consider her my friend. I know that in life people come and go and that is part of life. It’s all about how much you invest in the relationship. And – a relationship cannot be one sided.
I know my friend did not mean to hurt my feelings. I wonder, however, if I got a taste of what Jesus feels when we reject him? He is constantly nudging us to be in a relationship with him. He will never give up on the relationship he wants with us. Unlike me – he won’t walk away from it. He will still be knocking.
"Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal together as friends." (Rev 3:20 NLT)
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2 Comments:
I've had that happen before, too, Lisa. I finally realized that when people move to new jobs they make new friends and maintaining that old connection can become difficult. Out of all the people I've seen come and go over the years there are only about four I still count as friends and three of them became very close to me - they are my main "pack" if you will. The other one shoots me an email now and then and we have dinner once or twice a year.
I try to keep in mind that not all friends are lifetime friends. Some of them God drops into your life for a season or a reason and then they are on their way again. Others, like my three best friends, find a nitch that is comfortable and end up spending a lifetime with you. I thank God every day that those three are still around.
Hi! I found your blog through Susie at BluebirdBlog designs (she did a great job on your design,btw!).
I could've written this entry myself, as I experienced the same thing with a friend a couple years ago. It breaks my heart - she still uses the "excuse" that she's too busy to maintain the friendship.
I have come to the conclusion that some people come into our lives for a short time - often to teach us something. Friendship for a season. God can use those friendships to teach us something about our relationship with Him. You've eluded to it in the last paragraph - thanks for sharing this. I needed to be reminded of that again today.
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